When I started dating as a teenager, one of the cardinal rules I first learned was to “play hard to get.” Whether it was not making myself readily available to talk on the phone or playing it cool when the weekend rolled around, the intention was simple: The less accessible I was, the more appreciated I would be.
Whether or not it helped me then is still under debate, but I truly believe that this early lesson is one that can be applied to your professional life now.
ADOPTING THE SCARCITY PRINCIPLE.
Research has shown that opportunities appear to be more valuable when they become less available. Quite simply, people often want more of what is hard to get. It makes perfect sense…why do you think diamonds are so coveted?
In social psychology, the scarcity principle refers to the nature of human beings “placing a higher value on things that are perceived as rare while devaluing things that are seen as common or abundant.” The psychology behind the scarcity principle comes down to reactance – the thought that when something is limited in availability, the tendency is to want it more.
According to Robert Cialdini, an expert on influence and the author of Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade, “What the scarcity principle says is that people are more attracted to those options or opportunities that are rare, unique or dwindling in availability.”
Scarcity and “playing hard to get” go hand in hand, and I suggest harnessing these ideas for your professional benefit and growth. In other words…play hard to get by making yourself scarce.
HERE ARE FOUR SIMPLE, YET STRATEGIC WAYS TO PLAY “PROFESSIONAL PLAY HARD TO GET”:
1. THINK IN ABUNDANCE, BUT LIMIT CHOICES.
To be successful in business, it’s crucial to embrace a visionary mindset where you see limitless possibilities. While your vision may be wide, you simultaneously have to be narrow in the choices you make. Particularly when starting out as an entrepreneur, it’s important not to fall into the trap of casting too wide a net or giving yourself – or your customer – too many options. You must hone in and target where you’re spending your time, energy and resources, which are likely more limited in the early stages. By doing so, you embrace a mentality that says, “I won’t spread myself too thin and jump at any opportunity that comes my way.”
By making a conscious effort to not give yourself – or your prospective clients – too many choices, you are automatically contributing to the scarcity mindset.
2. DON’T BE TOO EAGER.
Economics dictate that if your services are low in supply and high in demand, you’re much more valuable. That said, when opportunities arise, don’t be overly enthusiastic or too quick to say yes, as you may come off naive, desperate or low in demand. Rather than eagerly and automatically committing, take a pause, be confident and assertive, and proceed to find out more about the opportunity.
Find the balance between being opportunistic, yet remaining self-assured and selective about prospective clients or offers.
Dr. Jeremy Nicholson, a social psychologist focusing on decision-making, social influence and relationship dynamics, suggests communicating in a way that respects the other person’s needs without appearing too eager. Your stance is, “I’m selective about who I work with, but I will strongly consider working with you.”
No desperation. Quite the opposite – you know (and communicate) that you have options.
3. CREATE A DEMAND FOR YOUR WORK.
To become highly sought-after, it’s important to consistently prove and maintain your excellence. Regardless of your field, staying in demand is the key to any successful career.
Mark Anthony Dyson, a career consultant and the host and producer of “The Voice of Job Seekers” podcast and blog, suggests taking steps such as meaningful networking, keeping proof of your best work close by, and becoming your own master publicist.
“Your strongest skills must be evident in all that you do. You must exploit their value, showcase them to the world, and create demand for yourself,” says Dyson.
4. VALUE YOURSELF.
The foundation of playing “professional (and personal) hard to get” is having confidence in yourself and how much you offer others. Knowing that you don’t have to be over eager or jump at any opportunity is grounded in the value you place on yourself.
Remain self-assured and trust your ability to meet your emotional and financial needs.
Continuously keep track of your accomplishments and the improvements you make in other people’s lives. Stay focused and mindful about what makes you distinctive, the impact you can make on others, and always practice positive self-talk.
GET READY TO PLAY.
While conventional wisdom may suggest taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, there is something proactive in not being quickly reactive. It’s advantageous to stop, take a breath, and remember to play it cool.
If this resonates with you, the next time you meet a prospective client or a potential sales opportunity becomes available, I encourage you to “play hard to get” by embracing an attitude of scarcity and remembering your value.
As I’ve worked with clients on business growth activities such as increasing their pricing, limiting their offerings and clarifying their target customer, I simultaneously reinforce the need for them to stay focused on their worth. Sometimes it takes an outside, unbiased source to provide a reminder about the tremendous value you present.
If you’re wondering how to infuse these strategies into your professional life or simply need some inspiration and motivation around your value, contact me at noreen@defyandhustle.com and let’s chat.
You may find that “playing hard to get” is the easiest thing you can you do to quickly elevate your business.
Warmly,
Noreen
RESOURCES
- https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/18/smarter-living/benefits-of-being-scarce.html
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini
- https://psychologia.co/how-to-play-hard-to-get/
- https://www.explorepsychology.com/scarcity-principle/
- https://www.recruiter.com/i/10-steps-to-create-demand-for-your-work-for-your-careers-sake/
